This was my first tattoo. I wanted to get a tattoo that had significant meaning in the design and where it was placed on my body. I wanted something that started to tell the story of my military career and was a stark reminder of why I was doing what I was doing. I had been well into my military career and felt I knew exactly what I wanted to carry with me to honor my family on my body. For this first tattoo, I wanted to honor our Gold Star lineage and all three family members. Highway 39 was an idea that came to mind and stuck with me. The highway represents all three family members and tells a powerful story. I looked at the regular state highway sign and saw something more. As time went on, I had come across an old challenge coin on my dresser that caught my attention one day. On this day it was speaking to me. It was a Combat Vets Association challenge coin I had received from the Patriot Guard Riders at my uncle’s funeral in Klamath Falls, OR. The symbol on the coin is a skull with a spade on it. I looked at it and I knew how a spade has so much meaning in the military, civilian world, and tattooing. I later noticed a spade upside down was essentially the shape of the state highway 39 sign. Upside down, it was also the shape of a heart. I then had this vision of the upside-down spade with a gold star in the stock of the spade. I then had to figure out where this would be placed on my body. I wanted to give it a double meaning. I knew my forearm would be the perfect fit.

A spade has significant military history dating back to World War II and in Vietnam it took on a whole new meaning. Vietnam is how we became a Gold Star family. The spade originally was used to identify troops that had been separated from their unit and painted on the helmets of soldiers that had not killed anybody. US troops used the spade card during the war, as they believed it was a source of superstition to scare the enemy. They carried them on their helmets as a way of showing that where they went, so, too, did death.   Soldiers would place an ace of spades on the first body of the enemy they killed, to try and frighten other enemy soldiers. 

As an Army Flight Paramedic, I thought having my spade that also looked like a heart was a cool concept, as my job is to bring service members home so others don’t have to become Gold Star families. A spade also represents death and good luck. I wanted to be able to look down at my arm when I was going through challenging times and see love and good luck. That meant when I looked down, I saw the highway sign and the shape of a heart. When others looked at my arm, they see a spade to represent death. That may spark a conversation and keep the family legacy alive as others will see a sign of the ultimate sacrifice. Finally, as I bring my right arm up to salute, the spade from your angle turns upside down to the heart I see every day and it is as if I am saluting those family members on Highway 39.

Jake